An Insurmountable Love
by alexjademaru09
Summary: An adult, warrior Rin tries to become oblivious toward the love she harbors for Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru knows of her love, but struggles with his own inner turmoil over why he has kept Rin around for so long. Ok, not a great summary, but read it anyway
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I do not own Inuyasha

_**An Insurmountable Love**_

As you wish, my lord. Those were the five words she'd engraved in her mind. Whatever he asked, demanded, and inquired about, she would oblige. It had been this way for fifteen years. The twenty-three year old sat in her favorite garden watching a lotus blossom float gently across the pond. The dark haired raven mused over her life as a servant walked behind her startling her out of her reverie.

"Rin, it is time for dinner. I do believe time has gotten away from you again."

"Oh, Sukia, you gave me quite a fright!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, only to tell you dinner was ready."

"Ok, I'll be right there, just give me a second."

Sukia nodded her head in a knowing yet understanding fashion and walked away silently back toward the side entrance of the castle. Rin then turned her attention back to the lotus blossom. She sighed for the same thoughts that had been plaguing her mind for five years seeped into her thoughts once again. Unbeknown to her, a tall, handsome figure watched her from above. As he watched her from the balcony, he could see her ravine hair blowing in the warm yet cool evening. He saw how the gentle breeze gave a pink hue to her flawless skin. She was now twenty-three he mulled over. She was tall with dark brown eyes, pouty lips, plump face, long eye lashes, and a curvy and lithe figure that was hidden well beneath the royal dress robes that he had made sure she grew accustom to wearing over the years. Though, she wouldn't wear them much because she was always practicing her skills on the bow and arrow, swords( katana, tanto, wakizashi) martial arts, etc.

The girl was trained in much weaponry. She had to be, considering whom she traveled with. She could be considered by most humans and demon alike as a natural killer. She was accurate, discrete, and lethal to her opponent much like himself. Sesshomaru recalled watching her fight one of his superior officers no less that two years ago. The demon was dead in less than two minutes. She then bowed to the corpse and walked away as if nothing had happened at all. The entire time, he'd noticed her eyes were void of all emotion. A trait from him no doubt. Yes, Rin's physical abilities were extraordinary. Not to mention she was wise, impressively educated, and declared a bona fide healer three years prior whose knowledge in herbs exceeded even himself. She had so many merits to her person; it exceeded even demon standards of accomplishments for someone so young. Yes, there was something definitely... strange about her. But for right now, yes, she looked like a princess in waiting, but who was to be her prince. Now, that was a question that lingered quite frequently over the years. Rin was a woman. She needed a noble man to be her husband. But she wasn't just _a_ woman.

She had inner and outer strength thanks to him, a warrior, and she had a haughty yet subtle air about herself. No regular human male would suffice. Though, why he hadn't sought out to find her one before now eluded him, though he often wondered why that was. Rin had been of mating age for at least six years now; it was definitely time to make a move before her kind labeled her a spinster. Then again, she never mentioned wanting to marry. He mused at this idea as he watched her long gentle fingers reach out to touch the lavender lotus that was floating nearby. He'd noticed that he'd been watching, analyzing her. He wondered was this a sign of weakness, the way he was always watching her now.

'Have I become weak like father? No,' he instantly corrected himself.

The fact of the matter was, he was like a father to this woman. The entire notion was repugnant and ridiculous. Nonetheless, he'd noticed how she would watch him as well. She had always watched him, but her lingering eyes had a more softness, harboring something that dwelled deep within. This made him wonder even more. He continued his reverie.

'I knew that one day she would harbor more mature feelings for me once she became of age. I should have sent her away years ago, but I just couldn't. I have gotten used to her always trailing behind me on my expeditions to the ends of the world if it entailed. Why did this mortal follow me for so many years? I suppose maybe it was because I was the only one she had. Yes, that seems more than a feasible explanation. But why allow such? I am a taiyoukai. I had always known that she admired me beyond reason, but her aura has changed drastically. I can smell it, and I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at me- a minute intrigue. It is a feeling of want but not demand. She does not wish to leave, this I know, but what am I to do with her? I know she can handle her own. She herself is a warrior at heart and will fight for what she wants. But my senses tell me I am at the top of her list of wants, and that I cannot allow. And she knows this, which is the cause for her inward sadness even now.'

Rin brushed her hands of the rich western soil. She then stood to walk toward the castle doors when something from above caught her eye. She looked to see none other than Sesshomaru watching her from the balcony. She gave a slight smile and a nod of the head. Sesshomaru gave a nod of his own. Rin let her glare linger a few moments more before she gave a slightly audible sigh and turned her attention to the doors of the castle. She pull them open but not before stealing one more look at her lord who was still staring at her.

'Why does he do this?' Rin inwardly pondered. 'Does he not know the power he harbors in his stare? His golden eyes penetrate into my soul. One look from him, and I feel as though my heart is being pulled into a thousand directions. I know he knows. He knows everything that goes on in his castle, and yet he does nothing. I do not pretend to be angry as to why we cannot marry. He is a formidable taiyoukai who claims to hate my breed, yet he cares for me. I know he does. He doesn't know, but I can see hints of emotion that seep from his eyes when he looks at me. If he knew he emitted such at times, he would surely deny it.

But why am I still here? What am I waiting for? Oh yes, I'm waiting for him to tell me he loves me- not as a father loves a daughter- not as a protector loves the protected- but as a man that loves a woman or in my case- a demon that loves a human. And that I excel in my studies and training just to please him, just to be worthy.' Rin sighed. 'Who am I fooling? If I ever revealed my feelings, all the training I've had would not prepare me for his response. Maybe I don't want to know what he thinks. Maybe I should just leave and start a new life ….Sesshomaruless. It would be for the best. That way, there would never be an awkward conversation about his present or none present feelings for me. Yes, for it would only be I who would be risking everything that I know and have worked for. Indeed, I must make up my mind soon of what I will do.'

Rin finally reached the dining hall. She walked in and sat down in her usually seat. She waited for Sesshomaru to arrive which he did several moments later. She and Jaken stood once he arrived. He had a cold look in his eyes and she instantly wondered what was wrong. Rin and Jaken sat down once Sesshomaru did. Rin could see that he looked as though he wanted to say something, not necessarily geared toward her but perhaps a genuine observation. On Sesshomaru's behalf, he had just learned from a worthy ally while he was on his way to dinner that a known enemy of his fathers' has once again broken free from the barrier he was in. Sesshomaru deduced that he must be killed.

"Are you sure that killing Monorakia is the best thing? He has immense spiritual powers that have been helping our kind for centuries."

"It is the only way; every time he breaks free he goes on treks of destruction. I cannot allow this again. We will find another who has spiritual powers, for Monorakia's ends is imminent."

"Yes, I will lend my assistance if you will accept."

"No!"

Tokona knew that was coming. The lord never accepted helped even if he needed it.

"Well, you'll know where to find me if you change your mind."

Sesshomaru nodded and kept walking toward the dining hall. He pondered the upcoming events.

'This journey will take at least three weeks, seeing as Monorakia lives in the eastern region. But the question that is really lingering on my mind is, do I take Rin?

She can be of assistance; she has been training with me and my best instructors for years, but is she ready for something like this.'

Sesshomaru sighed heavily at this. He entered the dining hall with a cold demeanor, for he was at a lost for what to do.

'Hmmm, I could bring her along and then leave her at a nearby village until the battle is over. She of course will insist that she will be able to defend herself, but I foresee this battle as being one of the worst in my time. Regardless, if she understands, I will not lose her in a battle that she should not have been present to begin with. Plus, this would give me a chance to have some time with Rin and decide what is best for her future. Yes, I will tell her after dinner.'

Dinner was rather mundane. There was little conversation, only Jaken's complaints about the lazy guards and servants. Rin stole a few glances at Sesshomaru, but he looked straight ahead the entire time as if no one else was in the room, nor did he comment on anything. She couldn't blame him on that part. The only person that was talking was a nuisance of a toad. Several moments had passed by after Rin had finished her dinner. She didn't know why she just sat there, but she was startled out of her notions when Sesshomaru's booming voice scared her.

"You may be excused if you wish Rin."

Rin snapped her neck over to Sesshomaru to see if he was finally looking at her, but his stare still lay straight ahead. Rin slowly rose, pushed her chair up, and left the room in silence.

"Humph, she was awfully quiet today my lord. I wonder what is bothering her?"

As soon as Jaken said this, Sesshomaru got up and went in the same direction as Rin.

"Humph, I wonder what is up with those two?"

Rin didn't know Sesshomaru was following her nor did she know he was following far behind on purpose. If she had she wouldn't have started talking aloud to herself.

"I wonder why Lord Sesshomaru looked so pensive and detached in there. Maybe something has happened. Perhaps, he really does know my feelings and wants to send me away. If that happened, I suppose that wouldn't be completely off from my previous notions of me wanting to leave anyway; however, to be sent away personally by him would be devastating."

Rin quickly dismissed such a scenario and came up with other possible reasons for his more than aloof, disposition.

"Or maybe he is getting married. Oh my, this notion is even more rancid than the previous one. I really don't know what I'd do then. Leaving would be imminent no doubt. I suppose he wouldn't care if I just left one day anyway, would he? Humph…better than being sent away. I mean if he got married then where would that leave me? It's not like he and I would … would… I can't even say it. Even my lips know how preposterous it is, but... that doesn't stop me from…. Ohhhh why am I even thinking about this? Perhaps, I should lay down for awhile. Yes, that will help."

Rin finally reached her room and opened her door. She went in and pushed the door closed as she walked off. She heard it close but felt another's presence in the room. She stopped mid-stride, for she knew who it was.

" Lord Sesshomaru," she said without turning around. Her heart was beating tenfold because she didn't know how long he'd been behind her, for she had said things aloud she had no inttention of him hearing anytime soon. She then turned around to see Sesshomaru starring at her with a rather shocked expression, but as soon as she saw it, it disappeared. Rin tried to look anywhere but at him. She knew he was going to say something about her catharsis. Sesshomaru just stood there for a minute starring at her. Rin was used to this so this didn't bother her as nearly as much as what she thought he was going to say whenever he decided to speak.

"Rin," he methodically breathed out.

He took a few steps closer, and Rin took a few steps back. Sesshomaru halted and crinkled his brow slightly.

"What is this; you are afraid of me now?"

"No," Rin stated almost inaudible.

"Humph," was all he managed to say.

"Rin, there is a disturbance in the far east that requires my attention." He paused before he continued, for he saw Rin's eyes emit confusion. She was sure he was going to mention what she said in the hall.

"And" she said.

"And the journey will take no less than three weeks"… Another long pause.

"I want you to come with me."

Rin's face lit up.

"Sure I'd love to come. Thank you for considering me Sesshomaru-sama." She said as she quickly put her feet together, swiftly placed a balled- up fist on her chest and bowed.

"Very well, we leave in two days. Prepare yourself."

With that, Sesshomaru turned to leave. Rin was elated, maybe he didn't hear her, but before she could complete that notion- he stopped before he got to the door and turned around. Rin was close to him on the account she was going to close the door behind him. So, when he stopped and turned to face her abruptly, she almost ran into him. Fortunately, she had superior reflexes and was able to stop herself from such a blunder. When he turned he knew she would be close. He wanted to see her response from a close range once he divulged what he was presently thinking. Rin just looked at him before speaking her thoughts aloud.

"Is there something wrong?"

He waited for a few seconds before responding.

"You, you think I wouldn't care if you left?" Rin's eyes grew big and she took a few steps back and turned around slightly. Sesshomaru took this opportunity to walk toward her which frighten her a bit; therefore, she backed away. But this time, Sesshomaru grabbed her softly by the wrist.

Rin suddenly felt light- headed and her heart was pounding.

"Calm down Rin, there is nothing to be frighten of. It is only this Sesshomaru."

"I know, but Rin is just surprised that's all."

"Of what,"

"Of… of… nothing…"

"You take me for a fool. Rin, you've never been easy to scare. Tell me, what are you thinking?"

"Oh, my lord you wouldn't… I couldn't, I mean… it's really nothing… I must be tired." Rin felt like a babbling fool. She wasn't used to being caught off guard.

"Why do you lie?"

"Because the truth will only bring pain," she said in a voice and a confidence she didn't recognize.

This even took Sesshomaru by surprise. He didn't realize he was still holding her until Rin looked down at his claws wrapped gently around her small wrist.

Sesshomaru looked down at his own hand around her wrist.

"Rin, I have always been accustomed to pain, it is one of the only things I can relate to."

"Tell this Sesshomaru" he whispered.

"That's the problem my lord, then you wouldn't be able to relate … what I feel…. for you…" She twisted out of his grip and turned all the way around as she whispered the last part.

"You know, and I know you know, ever since I was a child I adored you. I looked up to you. You and master Jaken were all I had. You were all I could relate to. But then as I grew older, the immature feelings I had, grew into.. she paused and looked into Sesshomaru's emotionless eyes "…into….. humph… what is the point of this?"

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. This made Rin smile- not only out of humor, but the fact that she was just about to tell Sesshomaru something she'd never wanted to tell him, for she knew his stance upon the matter.

"Look lord Sesshomaru, it's getting late, and I am really tired. This conversation is fated to be one -sided. I don't think I could bare your response."

She took a deep confident breath and continued.

"So, I'm letting you take the easy way out. So come tomorrow, everything will be as it was. No harm no foul." A tear rolled down her cheek when she said this. Sesshomaru didn't budge. When Rin saw that he wasn't moving, she let out an exasperated sigh.

"Please, not tonight.. not any night for that matter. I don't want to know your answer or your reasons of honor, pride, sacrilege, or misdeeds of your father because the fact of the matter is, your father died loving That's right.....Loving… something you think you are incapable of doing, and that is fine. I can live with that I promise I can. But I can't live with your rejection, not tonig…." She trailed off as her voice cracked. "So, like I said, let's just leave well enough alone." Sesshomaru, realizing that he had raised her to have too much fortitude, titled his chin upward and starred at her for a considerable amount of time before responding.

"As you wish!"

Sesshomaru was leaving out the door and Rin was holding it when Sesshomaru caught her hand on the knob and whispered in her ear.

"But…. this is far from over Rin, not for tonight or any other night. You _will do_well to remember this notion." He gave her a glance before letting her hand go and walking down the hall as if nothing happened leaving Rin flabbergasted as she closed the door. She slowly backed away from the door and languidly sat down on the bed which lead to immediate contemplation.

"What have I done? If only I could have sensed he was behind me. Oh, but that wouldn't have mattered. Perhaps…,"

Rin suddenly got up and walked outside on her balcony to linger at the moon.

"Perhaps, him knowing is for the best. I was tired of this encumbrance. I am a warrior for goodness sake."

Rin balled her fist up and pounded it on the marble railing of the balcony because she had come to a resolution. "Yes, a warrior. I am supposed to be strong-minded. If Sesshomaru has taught me anything over the years, it is how to outwit my opponent, and as of now he is my opponent, as far as my heart goes. I vow right here and right now that I will never show Sesshomaru my heart ever again. I will become oblivious to my heart. He _will not _remember me as a weak human. He will remember me as a warrior. Rin unraveled her fist and roughly placed both hands on the cool railing and looked down only to snap her neck back upward at the moon vehemently, watching it as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She let a simple phrase escape her lips before turning around and retiring to bed.

"Yes, a warrior, this suites me.,"

* * *

Ok, how do you guys like that one. I've always wanted to write a Sesshomaru and Rin story. So, you all have to tell me how I'm doing! Review Review plzzzzzz


	2. Chapter 2

"Please Lady Rin, I beg of you, you need a break, you've been training for four hours."

Rin gave her personal maid Yuki a side glare as she practiced in the dojo with her katana for the fourth time that day. Rin wore a long-sleeved, black, sleek, and fitted outfit made of snake skin that was very flexible and durable. The design consisted of reddish- pink cherry blossoms flowing diagonal from her right shoulder to her left hip. Rin had picked the simple yet feminine design herself. Even though Rin's personality had noticeably become aloof like Sesshomaru's, she still enjoyed flowers and purposeful conversation.

Nonetheless, when dealing with flowers, she did not pick them like she used to in her earlier youth. Now, she merely admired them, her favorite being cherry blossoms. Her hair was indeed a marvel to see; however, this day, it had been gathered together in a white ribbon with her mid-waist hair elaborately plaited and then wrapped tightly to make a neat ball in the middle-top of her head. This made her bone structure even more striking. Rin never did like the thought of her hair swinging about while she practiced for hours at a time.

"Yuki, Lord Sesshomaru has asked me to accompany him on an expedition in the far east. I plan to be up to par. Besides, we leave tomorrow; this is merely a short workout."

The two quarters of a leopard with flawless olive skin simply shook her head in disapproval. She couldn't say she was surprised that Rin would call her four hour training a short workout considering she was well known for her training to exceed six hours with only a break, solely for hydration. Yuki presumed her habits came directly from Lord Sesshomaru, for he was also known for strenuous training.

She inwardly began to wonder as she looked at Rin train. 'Why does she train so hard? She is indeed under Lord Sesshomaru's protection. He would protect her from any threat to her person. Though a part of me wonders does Rin's ambition for perfection stem mostly for approval from Lord Sesshomaru. Even I, a mere maid, sees the way she looks at him when she thinks no one is looking. Though, who could blame her? The master emits perfection. It's as if his mere presence demands it at all times. In many ways they are alike. Though, to compare him to a human aloud would be a death wish.'

"Well, since you are leaving tomorrow, don't you think you should relax for the remainder of the day?"

"Certainly not, I have a new method of fighting that I've been working out for a few weeks now, and I need it to be perfect before tomorrow!"

" But Lady Rin, you are…"

"Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that? You know I hate to be called "Lady." I have no formal position here. I am Sesshomaru-sama's ward, nothing more. Do I make myself clear Yuki? Let this be the last time we speak of this."

Yuki let out an almost audible gulp before responding and noted her reprimands can be just a cruel as Sesshomaru's himself.

"Yes, Rin-chan."

Rin gave a nod of approval, but quickly noted tears beginning to gather in Yuki's eyes before she turned to leave. Rin quickly tossed her katana to the side and caught Yuki's arm.

"Yuki wait, I didn't mean to be so spiteful, I simply do not wish to be called such. Forgive me for being so absentminded. I suppose when it comes to feelings, I have adopted a prejudice against it as of lately, but you have nothing to do with it. Again, I apologize."

Yuki looked at Rin with her violet hued eyes and blinked several times before responding. "Of course Rin- chan, forgive me as well. I was only giving you a title with which you are worthy of."

"That is just it Yuki, I'm not worthy of such a title," she stated while releasing the Yuki's arm.

"But"

"Yuki!" Rin said firmly signaling Yuki to silence herself immediately.

"Yes, Rin – chan, as you wish," she mumbled and nodded before leaving less abruptly than before.

Rin bent down, picked up her katana, and continued practicing her formations. She preferred to practice by herself with no interruptions. This way, she could concentrate; however, she was once again disturbed.

"You have improved quite considerably since our last expedition," was the matter of fact statement Sesshomaru gave.

Rin turned her head slightly before responding.

"Thank you Lord Sesshomaru." She turned half way toward him without making eye contact and bowed quickly before resuming her formations.

Rin was now a little nervous to say the least, but she kept her demeanor quite well as Sesshomaru's calculating eyes followed her every move. She wondered how long he would stand there, but knowing him, boredom usually manifested itself in him quite easily therefore, he would only observe for a few more moments she presumed. Unfortunately, she was wrong. Sesshomaru observed for an interminable amount of time.

On Sesshomaru's behalf, he had not planned to watch her no more than a few moments, but when he heard her heart beat quicken, he decided to stay longer. He saw she was nervous and wanted to see how she continued to perform under what appeared to be immense stress and discomfort- since he made sure in numerous lessons before to stress her to her limits. Rin gave a final thrust in the air with her right arm and sword extended directly in front of her as her final formation ended.

Rin was breathing heavily. Normally, she would have been able to keep her composure, but with the present audience, that could not be achieved. Rin then put her arm and sword down and glanced back at Sesshomaru before walking over toward her towel that lay only a few feet away next to her bow and arrow, tanto, and other weaponry. She grabbed it, stole another hurried glance at Sesshomaru, and started to dab the towel over her forehead letting out an exasperated sigh.

She was waiting on him to say something. She didn't have to wait long.

"That was a new formation was it not?"

Before answering, Rin placed the towel on her neck and began wiping gently.

"Yes my lord, I've been practicing it for a few weeks now, trying to perfect it to my liking."

"Indeed, it seems rather complicated for a human!"

"Indeed it is."

"Who taught you?"

"No one, the method is my own to claim," she divulged as she held her head minutely higher and let the towel in her hands rest on the back of her neck.

"So it is."

Rin looked at him wondering would he bring up the other night. After a considerable amount of time of copious gawking, Rin deduced it was time for her to gather her weapons and get ready for dinner. Nonetheless, before she reached to get her bow and arrow, Sesshomaru walked across from her with his weapon in hand. Rin's eyes widen.

"Show me Rin, I want to test your… creation."

Rin looked at him a second more before tossing the towel that was on her neck down nearby while picking up her tanto sword. In all honesty, Rin was more than tired, but over the years she had pushed herself to the limit when she trained, and this spar would proved to entail just that.

Several minutes passed before Sesshomaru called it quits.

"Humph, this new formation of yours is quite interesting," he stated while he re-sheathed his sword.

"I'll take that as a compliment, my lord," she said while wiping the blood that was slowly running down her arm and taking note her suite would have to be fixed before tomorrow. Sesshomaru walked over toward her and motioned for her to let him see her wound. Rin was apprehensive but obeyed. This did not go unnoticed by him. She slowly placed her arm in his clawed hand and turned her face away- hoping he would hurry up. He rotated her arm gently from side to side. To Rin, this type of gesture from him was fairly a norm. Every time she was injured he would examine her. Rin kept her eyes turned away as he looked, but ultimately let her eyes slightly shift over toward his hair. She remembered the first time she ever touched it. She slowly closed her eyes as the memory consumed her. She was thirteen years old. She's noticed that he had a leaf in his hair as their little foursome rested after a long day's journey from the north. At first, she acted as though she didn't see it, but after awhile it began to bother her.

"My lord," Rin shyly stated while sitting next to him under an oak tree.

"Yes,"

"You have a leaf in your hair, in the back."

"I suppose you want to get it out," he stated while keeping his eyes closed and posture, unmoving.

"Yes," she said almost inaudibly.

"Do as you wish."

Sesshomaru slowly positioned himself where his back would be facing Rin. Rin timidly pulled out the leaf slowly, trying to savor the feel of his hair. It felt just as she imagined it would, like silk. Just as a small smile began to creep on the corners of Rin's mouth from the memory, Sesshomaru's soft yet masculine voice brought her back to the present.

"Hmm, it is deeper than I thought," he noted as if disinterested.

"Oh," she stated bringing her attention to her arm."

"You will go to the infirmary before dinner," he commanded more so than stating.

"Yes, I will get Akemi to check it out," she stated disinterested as well.

Interestingly enough, Rin looked up at Sesshomaru who appeared to have now turned his attention toward her face, even taking the liberty to move closer because she had a small cut on her cheek. He slowly brought his unoccupied clawed- hand up and placed it lightly on her cheek. Rin was in turmoil. Needless to say her heart beat increased significantly and her cheeks began to turn deep crimson. Sesshomaru then turned his attention to her eyes and noticed she was trying hard to restrain something while looking away from him, but he didn't know what.

Then suddenly, Rin's eyes fell on Sesshomaru' again. She knew what he was seeing in her eyes. Therefore, in order for Rin to save face, she quickly looked away and snatched her arm away while taking several steps back- consequently, not without getting a few more cuts from Sesshomaru's sharp claws. She winced in pain; Sesshomaru started to walk toward her, but Rin stepped back some more and turned around looking at her arm again before speaking.

"I will go I said, to the infirmary I mean."

She turned around slightly to see Sesshomaru's location and noticed that he had not moved. So, she turned all the way around leisurely and looked at him. She observed that he just stood there with a cold expression. She decided to speak once more before this privacy they shared currently turned into something more.

"Well, I suppose I'll get going then," she said as she grabbed her white towel, covered her bleeding arm, and applied pressure to it. She went passed him fairly quickly. When she reached the door of the dojo, she quickly gave a glance only to see Sesshomaru watching her hurried exit with a raised eyebrow.

Sesshomaru stood with mild curiosity mixed with apprehension that was brewing just beneath his usual cool exterior. He began to wonder about his ward.

'She hurried out of here as though she was frightened of me. I could sense her uneasiness. Justly so, during our sparing she fought with fortitude that lacked nothing. At moments, she almost caught this Sesshomaru off guard which is a mighty feat for a human. Though as of lately Rin has been giving off a scent that is far from a human. It isn't a demon but something else. No matter how subtle this new aura is of hers it is definitely apparent, and it is getting stronger. I suppose a visit to father's old friend would not hurt.'


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rin was almost finished packing for the expedition she was to accompany Sesshomaru on.

"There, all done."

Rin sat silently for a moment while sitting on her bed until she heard a soft knock at her door.

"Lady Rin, are you in there" the older demon asked with down -casted eyes.

Rin rolled her eyes at the title before her given name. She knew it was Yana the seamstress. The dog demoness, who was like a mother to Rin, had finally finished her warrior suit that was torn by Sesshomaru a couple of days ago. Why it took Yana so long to finish it, she'd never know she figured.

Rin starred at the door for a moment before answering.

"Aye, I am here."

Yana slide the semi-transparent door open and looked at Rin sitting on her bed. Yana noted that Rin eyes were void of emotion as she looked back at her.

'and yet another trait from our beloved lord,' she mused.

"Here, the suit is as good as new. Try to be careful on this trek."

"I will," she said evenly as she stood up from the bed while taking the suit. She then took off her yellow kimono and put her warrior suit on quickly. Once on, Rin held up her arms and looked at the new stitching on both of the sleeves.

"Hmm, so this is why it took you so long, You stitched our lord's emblem on both sides with small cherry blossoms decorating the lining of it," she said aloud with no enthusiasm.

Rin placed her arms at her sides and sat back down on the bed.

"My dear, why do you look so forlorn?"

The motherly demoness asked as she took the liberty to sit next to Rin and place a claw hand on her shoulder.

Rin crinkled her brow glancing at Yana.

"Why do you ask this? I feel perfectly fine."

"Humph, well if you ask me, I'd say it has something to do with the upcoming travels and the person that is to accompany you," she said as she titled her head and examined Rin's infamous hair style.

Rin turned her head slightly and caught Yana's bluish-hazel eyes before stating.

"I see, but if I am not mistaken no one asked you," she said coolly.

Yana was used to Rin's sharp tongue. So, it did not bother her in the least. She took note that their lord raised Rin with much fortitude, insight, and discipline.

"Ahhh, that may be my dear Rin, but I am too old to wait for someone to ask me something. If I never took the liberty, then I would probably be mute as you were when our lord found you or I should say when you found him."

This made Rin smile and Yana noticed.

"Yes, see there is the smile I wanted to garner before you left. You are so much like our lord Rin."

Rin stood up from her bed slowly, letting Yana's hand slid gently from her shoulder to rest on the royal blue goose down comforter. She sighed and raised her hands in a matter of fact fashion before responding. "Well, he did raise me. If I did not have any qualities in which he possesses, then some might say he didn't raise me well enough."

"Oh hush dear! No one here thinks that. All the demons in the west have noticed how well he raised you. Even though some may not appreciate him taking a human under his wing or should I say paw."

Rin rolled hers eyes at her humor as she walked over toward her balcony.

"Yes, there is no doubt that our lord is more aloof than most of my kind come, but there is no doubt in my mind that he cares you."

Rin turned her head toward Yana quickly and walked slowly in the room nodding her head sideways.

"You know to say something like that aloud is sacrilege Yana! You never know who or what is listening. I've experienced this first hand!" Rin remonstrated.

Yana looked around Rin's room; sensing nothing, she continued.

"Well, you listen and you listen well. I've known our lord before he was even aware of himself and I have watched you grow as well. And I have especially taken it upon myself to watch the interactions between you and our lord. There is a semblance of something I witness long ago, but will not discuss at this time. Though, this reminds me of another point I wanted to make. You have changed Rin. Perhaps no one has told you, but you no longer smell like a human which is something I've been meaning to talk to you about for the longest time now."

Rin's eyes widen at this. She instantly thought back to the dreams she'd been having for over three years at least three times in a seven day period. She would be standing in the middle of a field and her body would be surrounded by spiritual power, so powerful she would be levitating several inches from the ground. Her arms would be crossed on her chest as she chanted something over and over again as if summoning someone or something.

"I see, this has only minutely taken you by surprise."

Rin nodded slowly, still wide-eyed.

"You smell of beings called the Cho- tei, more specifically from the tribe called the Kotomatas. They have a unique smell. Neither smelling of demons or humans, they simply go unnoticed for the most part, but are very powerful beings and never are to be trifled with. Nonetheless, they are protectors of all that is good in the world, but can be evil if persuaded to become so. I suspect that our lord has sense the change in you, but has not spoken his thoughts aloud."

Rin was simply amazed by this new found information. She had wanted to talk about the dreams to someone, but the love that she harbors for Sesshomaru always seemed to take priority considering the nights she wasn't have the "spiritual dream," she was dreaming about Sesshomaru.

"Why have you waited so long to divulge this?" Rin asked angrily walking directly in front of Yana shaking her head back and forward in disbelief.

Dismissing her angry stance, Yana licked her red hued lips slowly and crinkled her brow before responding.

"To be honest, I wasn't totally sure you smelled of these beings until I stitched your warrior suit. This new scent of yours was very apparent to me then, and that is when my suspicions were confirmed. I don't know why your scent is at its peak now, but it is. There is no mistake; your ancestry is directly linked with the Kotomatas. Though I do believe the reason your ancestry has been at bay in you is because you are possibly only half Kotomata."

"You mean a hybrid, like a HANYOU!"

Rin seethed through gritted teeth. "You mean something that lord Sesshomaru hates more than anything else. Of course, of course, fate would be so cruel!" Rin spat.

"Perhaps Rin, but you are here for a reason. Besides, our lord doesn't know of my thoughts. Nonetheless, like I said before, I am sure he is aware of the difference in you, but cannot exact its origins."

"How can you be so sure of Sesshomaru-sama's ignorance?"

"Trust me child, as you always have. Have I ever steered you wrong before?"

"No," Rin sighed and placed her arms around her abdomen feeling guilty for her reservations.

She knew the aged demoness was only trying to help her. Plus, Yana had the gift of sight, but could only see so far, Rin ruminated.

"Yes, our lord is a very proud demon, and he will not admit when he does not know something or when he is wrong. I would not be surprised because the Cho-teis are old beings. They've been around since nearly the beginning of time. Milord may only be aware of such beings through his studies. Nonetheless, you have always been a conundrum to milord and him to you. But if I am correct, all will be revealed in due time regarding your ancestry. Now regarding milord and you…"

Yana took a long moment to study Rin before responding.

"As non-emotional as our lord is and as of lately, you pretend to be Rin , there is a fire than lurks deep within both of you to seek out the unknown, but the question you must ask yourself my dear Rin… whose fire burns the most intense? And with that, I shall take my leave. I do believe milord will be requesting your presence shortly."

"You're just going to leave our conversation like that?" Rin said exasperatingly.

"Well, considering I covered two significant topics in only one short sitting, I assumed you would want time to reflect on such pregnant information and advice before your departure. I'd thought you'd appreciate my liberties here. Am I wrong?"

"No, of course not, Yana! It was very enlightening, and I will dwell upon this information with gravity."

Yana nodded before leaving "As you should, have a safe trip Lady Rin."

Rin just stood dumbfounded as she watched Yana slid the semi transparent door back shut.

Rin's mind was in a race of its own. Rin thought 'If Yana is right, I am some kind of spiritual being. Why have I just now in recent years started to develop this so-called inheritance from the Kotomatas. Am I really a hybrid? The whole entire notion is preposterous, but how can I explain the dreams? Yana might be on to something' Rin reasoned. 'Though… what she said about lord Sesshomaru and myself, she couldn't be more wrong. I am nothing but his ward. Sure, he has some regard for me, perhaps cares for me, but this… "fire" which she speaks of… "burning within lord Sesshomaru" is nonexistent. And when he finds out that I may be a hybrid which translates as a hanyou to him, I will never be able to make him love me, not ever. The fates are cruel, too cruel.'

With a scornful ire, Rin gathered her travel weaponry and traveling bag and strapped it tightly to her back. She walked to the door and roughly slid it open. As she was sliding the door shut in the hall, something caught her attention to the left of her. She captured Sesshomaru eyes locked on her as he stood in all his august glory down the hall. She fully faced him and stood staring at him with a surprised look when she quickly let all the emotion drain from her face and eyes before walking down to meet him.

Sesshomaru watched her steadfastly. He took note of her sleek warrior outfit and the new stitching on both sides of the sleeves. He watched her careful feminine movements, looking at each calculated stride as her thigh muscles flexed from coming in contact with the wooden floor. He watched as her face divulged nothing and her eyes even less- a complete one eighty he noted when she first saw him in the hall. When Rin finally stood before him, she bowed gingerly and titled her head upward to meet his gaze again before responding.

"I am ready, my lord," she stated with formality as she let her gaze fall straight ahead and off to the side.

He regarded her impassively a few more moments before turning and walking away beckoning her silently with his regal departure. Rin watched as he walked passed her, his pelt brushed up against her exposed wrist. Accident or not, she allowed the sensation of his pelt to affect her momentarily before brushing it off and falling into place behind her lord

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	4. Chapter 4

Silence was a luxury that Rin and Sesshomaru both cherished whole-heartedly, but this silence was more of an encumbrance. The mild summer breeze was the only sound that graced through the duo. They were just three days into their journey to the east. Rin wanted to speak, but was afraid that conversation would lead to the unwanted. Sesshomaru wanted to speak but wanted to discern Rin's disposition better before audible conversation. Thus, Sesshomaru stared ahead as he and Rin traveled on, but it was getting rather late. And he wanted to rest so they could get an early start on the journey tomorrow.

Sesshomaru finally stopped, letting Rin know that this was where camp would be for the night. Sesshomaru walked to a nearby oak tree, sat down, and closed his eyes slightly. Rin also sat down opposite of Sesshomaru and started unloading a few items out of her traveling bag. Quite frankly, Rin was sordid, extremely hot, and tired. She hated to admit it, but she had slightly overexerted herself during her formations days prior. Sesshomaru knew she was a tad bit sluggish than usual, but he didn't mind traveling at a slower pace.

He watched her intently as she sat down and slowly unloaded a few items she brought along on this long trek. Once Rin finished, she held a white towel that was embroidered with the phantom dog emblem in blue, white, and yellow, a bar of lavender scented soap, and sleep attire (compliments of Kagome) in her left arm and hand. She wanted to rest a few moments before she went in search of a hot spring that was no doubt nearby- considering Sesshomaru always set up camp where a hot spring could be found in the vicinity.

She let out a small sigh while clutching her belongings to her chest. She let her head lean on the massive oak and looked over at Sesshomaru who appeared to be asleep. Rin knew better though. She knew him well enough to know that he was watching her every move. So, she watched him as well. Sesshomaru watched her watching him and wondered what she was thinking. He took note that Rin's eyes stared into his slightly closed eyelids with a blank expression. Even though her face was calm and gave away nothing, Sesshomaru knew otherwise. Sesshomaru leisurely opened his eyes and watched Rin's none wavering eyes bare into his.

Suddenly, Rin placed the contents in her left hand down on her bag and gingerly reached up to her high ball and started to unravel it all the while never taking her eyes away from him. Sesshomaru watched in mild interest. He wondered for a second if she was trying to tell him something with her movements, but such notions ceased when he took note she was only unraveling her hair. He took in the sight of her hair and hands as Rin meticulously unbraided her hair. Unexpectedly, Rin's brow creased heavily, and the façade she was so desperately trying to keep in place faltered radically. So, she closed her eyes and continued to take her long braid down. Sesshomaru's interest was more than just peaked by now, he was a little concerned. He'd watched as Rin's face went from stoic to full of confusion and uncertainty. He wanted to comment on it, but before he could open his mouth. Rin spoke.

"Don't!"

Rin opened her eyes to look at Sesshomaru once again. This time her eyes were full of contempt. She rubbed her neck and stood before speaking again.

" I'm going to bathe now."

She looked at him for clearance. He looked at her a considerable moment before nodding his consent unhurriedly. Rin lingered in her spot a moment longer before turning and bending down to pick up her belongings and disappearing into the forest.

Rin waited until she was far away from camp before she began to ruminate aloud.

"That demon, is so stubborn. Can't he see… perhaps he does not wish to see. But all that I do is for him and only him. I don't know how much longer my façade will last, but one fact is sure, it will not last much longer. Here I am, thinking that I can show that demon no feelings, no love for him. Oh, Rin, why did you have to fall in love with a demon, and not just any demon, a taiyoukai. If only I'd known then what I'd be facing now, but how could I have possibly known such a thing. The facts are I'm in love with him, and he knows I'm in love with him, but he will do nothing about it. What kind of man knows that a beautiful woman is in love with him and does nothing. It doesn't make sense. I mean look at me." She glanced down at herself. "I'm a damn good catch, damnit. Humph, well, if I was dealing with an actual man, the answer might be obvious, but I am dealing with a male demon… nonhuman."

Rin stopped at this new revelation and starred numbingly at the hot spring just ahead. She let out a long sigh and kept straight. Unbeknown to her, Sesshomaru followed her, but at a safe distance. He would never admit it, but he was worried about her. Ever since that night she spoke the notions he knew were already ever present in her mind, she had a new defiant air about herself. Of course she would never blatantly disobey or disrespect him; however, since that night, he noticed every time he looked in her eyes she emitted nothing- eyes like stone. He did not like her this way, and by the look of what just took place at the camp, he knew he wanted to address the matter before tension between the two of them worsened. Besides, he didn't want them to end on a sour note before he left her in a human village. Once he spotted her, he noticed she was talking to herself. Therefore, he listen more intently and was able to pick up "Can't he see… perhaps he does not wish to see…."

Upon hearing Rin's last word, he closed his eyes before he began to do some ruminating of his own. ' Is she right, do I not wish to see her love for this Sesshomaru. I am a demon, non human as she has stated. Humans and demons are not meant to mix and yet here we are. Besides, she is right; her façade will not last much longer. She will eventually blame me for everything. I knew one day she would fall in love with me, but I 'd hoped that day never came, and yet here we are.

She and I, Rin and Sesshomaru, why did I save her?'

Rin began to take off her clothing when a familiar aura made her very aware that she was not alone. 'He followed me out here too,' she thought with wide eyes facing the spring. ' Why doesn't he just leave me alone.' She turned around swiftly and looked around. Of course she could see nothing, but she knew he was there. Therefore, she turned back around and started to undress. Rin figured, Sesshomaru would never make himself known. Even though he was a trained killer, he was still very modest when it came to things such as this. Even in the past, when he would save her from demons trying to have their way with her at hot springs, he would always look away from her once the offending vermin was slain.

So, by her getting undress knowing he was watching, Rin's body turned reddish. On Sesshomaru's behalf, he drank in every curve of Rin as she undressed. He even saw how her entire body turned pink, granted he couldn't see much because Rin's wavy black hair covered a significant amount of her, but not enough to where Sesshomaru could repress a reddish hue himself. He knew that she knew he was there, but something in him made him hide himself when she turned around previously. So, he just watched. Rin was completely naked by now. She gave her surroundings another look and then leisurely made her way into the water where she moaned slightly as the hot water instantly began to have an indelible affect on her. Rin eventually nestled herself on a smooth rock in the spring. She sat down and leaned her head against a bolder.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply and involuntarily let Sesshomaru's name escape her lips while exhaling. Sesshomaru's eyes widen considerably upon hearing his name. He was under the impression that she was made at him, but by the sound of her voice, she was far from such. Hence, he came out of hiding and in a flash stood before Rin, while she soaked away her troubles. Rin lethargically open her eyes to see Sesshomaru standing only five feet away from her. She jumped and eased herself in the water more. Sesshomaru starred at her wondering why she appeared more alluring right now than any other time before.

Rin looked up at him and then away before speaking.

"Did you want something my lord?"

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed a bit. He noted her loaded question and sensed the ambiguity in it. Rin finally realized the innuendo in her question as she let her question fully sink in. She quickly looked back at Sesshomaru before trying to recant.

"I didn't mean anything by that question my lord considering my present state. I merely thought you required…." She trailed off not really knowing what to say next as she lowered her body further into the water. Sesshomaru found mild interest in her modesty.

He on the other hand was just glad she wasn't upset with him, at least for right now. Rin watched as Sesshomaru's golden hued eyes pierced through her. Rin wondered what he was thinking but only saw something in his eyes she had never seen before. Rin's eyes started to slowly widen thinking he was about to divulge something most waited for. Though, when he finally opened his mouth to seemingly say something, nothing could be heard but a heavy sigh as he turned and walked back to camp. Rin sharply snapped her eyes skyward and let an impatient audible sigh escape her lips. She knew it would not go unheard by his sensitive hears, and she didn't care. Upon hearing this, Sesshomaru's closed his eyes while his brow crinkled in frustration as he continued to walk away.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: Thank you for the reviews. You all are really encouraging me to keep going with this story. I have a vision of how I want this to end. But the middle, I am a little hazy on, but believe me readers, I will come through. On with the story!

As the odd duo walked, Sesshomaru suddenly stopped, making Rin think something was wrong. Sesshomaru looked upward and took a long sniff in the air.

"There is a storm approaching; we must seek shelter within the next hour."

Rin looked upward and noticed the sky still looked beautiful. The sun was high in the sky, and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Nonetheless, she was not about to question her lord. Rin nodded as they kept moving at a slightly quicker past than before. After forty more minutes of travel, the sky began to darken quite considerably- thunder and lightning quickly followed.

"There," Sesshomaru pointed toward an area that Rin still couldn't see, "is where a cave resides. We will seek shelter there until the storm passes."

Rin nodded curtly and looked up at the sky only to be met by rain drops dropping in her eyes. Rin winced a bit and instantly looked down at the sudden intrusion. She rubbed her eyes but stopped when Sesshomaru rotated his head toward her with a looked of boredom.

"Come!"

Sesshomaru reached out his right hand to Rin just as the sky opened up and unleashed its fury. Rin looked down at his hand as the rain poured heavily on it. She looked back up at Sesshomaru and noticed his hair was getting saturated. There, on his cheek, was a piece of long silver strand stuck to the side of his face as he watched her. Rin stared back at his hand and noticed his claws were retracting back to normal, human- sized nails. She gave a quick reluctant glance at Sesshomaru before reaching out gingerly and softly placing her hand in his. He closed the distance between them, and Rin looked down- focusing on his spiky armor. He let their hands rest in a tight ball under his collarbone to the left.

Rin noticed his fury pelt wrap around her waist and pull her even closer to Sesshomaru in a firm grip against his body. He then gathered his yoki and encircled them in his white ball of light. His pelt's tight grip on Rin's waist had her mind in turmoil. The intimacy of the situation made Rin's head pound. Even through her angst, she knew he was still looking at her, but she refused to look at him. Besides, he was still holding her hand. She tried to will herself to calm down before thinking… 'Why does he do things like this?' Rin asked herself inwardly. 'He could have just told me to stand closer and then encircled us both without touching me. He's playing games.' She thought bitterly.

Sesshomaru knew their closeness was getting to Rin so he looked away from her. If he was honest with himself, he didn't know exactly why he extended his hand to Rin. Not to mention his tail wrapping around her waist. He could have just told her to come closer and engulfed them both in his white light without even laying a finger on her. He began to ruminate… 'Me being this close to her is still bothering her. I'd be lying if I said she didn't have an indelible affect on me as well; though her uneasiness bothers me. Back in her room, I remember she saying that 'your father died loving. Loving… something you think you are incapable of doing. And that is fine. I can live with that I promise I can. But I can't live with your rejection' Yes, I knew she was in love with me, but to hear her voice it is another notion altogether. But now she fears me; fears that one day I will send her away… reject her.'

Sesshomaru looked down at Rin and noticed her cheeks were hued with a touch of pink before voicing the end of his thoughts aloud "as if I could."

Rin glanced up to meet Sesshomaru's gaze. She heard him, but before she could say anything, he reached over with his free hand to her hair and gently unraveled her elaborate braid that was neatly placed in a ball. Once undone, he let his hand slowly move some of Rin's hair out of her face before giving a minute smile and looking away. Rin continued to stare at him a few seconds more before she noticed they'd landed.

"We are here," he stated in a matter of fact tone. He pulled them inside the cave letting go of her hand once inside. Rin stood there flabbergasted for a moment. Sesshomaru noticed that she wasn't moving and turned to look at her with cool eyes. Rin opened her mouth to say something but he interrupted.

"You should change clothes before an ailment comes upon you. I will place a barrier on this cave and start a fire."

Rin closed her mouth feeling stupid. She sat down while pulling her traveling bag off and placing it to the left of her. As she did this, her hair fell forward as a mass of wet mess. She figured she better wring out her hair before she did anything else. She walked closer to the entrance of the cave and started to ring her hair in a counter clockwise fashion. She listened as the water from her hair splashed against the stones in the cave which reverberated off its walls. She thought about how it felt to have his fingers running through her hair. She wanted to kiss him for showing such affection toward her but knew that would do nothing to help her situation with him. It would have just complicated matters worse. When she was done, she walked back toward Sesshomaru and noticed that he already had wood for the fire.

"The wood was already here?"

"Yes, I smelled it when we entered. Humans were here only a few days ago."

"Hmm," was all Rin managed to say before walking over to her bag and pulling out some dry clothes. She realized that she was going to have to change in front of him. Sesshomaru saw her apprehension once she pulled clean clothes from her bag. Therefore, he simply turned and started walking toward the entrance of the cave, leaving Rin alone. Rin was always amazed that he could read people so well. She quickly changed. Right when she tied the last knot in her silk blue kimono with the Inutashio symbol embedded at the bottom, he stepped into her view. He walked passed her over towards the wood. And within moments, there was a roaring fire before them.

Rin walked by the fire and sat down in front of it, warming her hands. Once finished, she turned her head slightly sideways towards the fire and methodically ran her fingers through her raven locks so it would dry quicker. While doing this, she noticed that Sesshomaru had sat down and propped his back on the cave wall with his arms crossed over his abdomen. His eyes were closed. And his clothes were already dry, but his hair was still damp a bit. Rin knew he wasn't sleep, but that didn't stop her from starring at him. She looked at the demon before her and wondered what her life would have been like if she never met him. She figured she probably would have been dead, if not from the villagers or bandits, then from the wolves. She sighed audibly and looked away from Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru opened his eyes to see Rin running her fingers through her hair. He'd always thought Rin's hair looked better down, but by her being a warrior it would have been irrational to have all that flying around in battle. He focused in on her hands as they moved with grace and diligence. His eyes moved toward the side of her face and down her lithe body. 'By human standards' he noted, 'she is considered perfect, and she is beautiful.' He let the words perfect and beautiful resound in his head.

"….the matter, my lord?"

He blinked and noticed Rin was looking at him and apparently had been saying something as well.

"Is there something the matter, my lord?"Sesshomaru took a few more moments to stare at her before responding.

"No, you should get some rest. The storm does not appear to be easing up. We will most likely be here until early morning."

Rin and Sesshomaru let what he said sink in. Rin let her gaze fall to the roaring fire, and Sesshomaru's gaze fell to the end of the cave. Rin contemplated to herself, 'we would be alone together all night with no one to see or hear any conversation that we might have.' At this realization Rin's heart rate increased. She didn't want to be trapped here with Sesshomaru and be forced to discuss what happened only a few nights ago. 'Yes, she thought, 'it was true, he could have easily brought up the topic when we were traveling, but I knew he wouldn't because he was on guard the entire time. Now, with the storm, he can be somewhat at ease.'

As if coming to the same conclusion, Rin and Sesshomaru looked back at each other.

"Rin," Sesshomaru spoke softly.

'Oh no,' she thought.

I know I know… it's a cliffie and it is still somewhat slow, but the next chapter is going to have some excitement, I promise. I love to build up personally. Tee hee. But you have to give me credit, they did touch some…lol… Review plzzzzzzz.


	6. Chapter 6

"Yes," Rin replied wide-eyed and lips slightly twitching

Sesshomaru mused to himself that she looked like a mouse that had be cornered by a cat.

He let his golden orbs stare into hers a few moments more before responding.

"I've been meaning to discuss something with you."

'Here it comes' Rin speculated.

"Lately, I have noticed a change in your scent. It is not as it should be."

Rin let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"How so my lord?" she asked acting curious.

"Well, you neither smell human nor demon. I can't place your scent. Though it does remind me of something, but it eludes me presently."

"I see, so I don't smell human anymore." Wanting to know what Sesshomaru knew, she delved a little deeper.

"So what do you presume is happening to me?"

Sesshomaru eyes lingered on the fire a while before speaking.

"I have some notions, but they are premature."

Rin's eyebrows rose coming to a conclusion of her own. 'Hmm, Yana is right, he knows nothing…for now.'

"Alright"

Rin looked down, but felt Sesshomaru's eyes on her. She looked up to see his head slightly titled to the side as though he wanted to say something, and he did.

"Before you went to the hot springs earlier, what troubled you as you sat unraveling your hair?"

Rin let her gaze sluggishly fall to the ground.

"It was nothing of significance."

"Hn," he replied as his eyes fell back to the fire. He knew she was lying, but noting that it was consolation for her to keep her secret… stopped him from questioning further.

There was a long silence that followed. Rin didn't want to say anything else on the matter because if this topic was discussed any longer, she may accidently divulge something. Therefore, she let her mind wonder back to when his body was pressed close to hers. She tried hard not to dwell on the memory for too long, for she knew she would be aroused by it- signaling a change to Sesshomaru in her already unknown scent. Unfortunately, Rin and he had forgotten her fertile cycle was nearing and any state of arousal from her would be tenfold on Sesshomaru's senses. So, needless to say, when Sesshomaru's acute senses smelled her, his pupils dilated. Sesshomaru's orbs rose from the fire while Rin's eyes were closed trying to will the memory away. Rin only opened her eyes when she heard an almost inaudible growl. She looked over at Sesshomaru and stood up abruptly.

Rin had never seen his eyes like that. She watched him as he struggled to contain himself. Rin noted his breathing had become erratic.

"What is wrong my lord, do you sense a demon approaching?" she asked from her position. The way he looked, she wouldn't dare approach him.

Sesshomaru leaned his head against the wall and slammed his eyes closed. He claws were digging into the moist dirt before he managed to answer her question.

"You are in heat," he said with a raspy voice.

Rin shook with realization. She counted the days quickly in her head, and he was right. It was twenty eight days ago when she had her last monthly. How could she have forgotten? She usually stayed locked up in her room during this time of the month. Yana insisted. Her scent was too strong for the male demons around the castle. Therefore she trained, had meals, tea, etc in her room. And Sesshomaru would always leave during that time to go on patrols. Never had she been in heat in his company.

"Oh no, what should I do, lord Sesshomaru?"

"Nothing, just give me time to adjust," he commanded as he shot her an unrecognizable look.

"I can't just stand here and watch you suffer. I'll go stand by the entrance of the cave. I know that will help you."

"Don't" he said urgently. "Others will sense you as I do. My barrier will only hold so long under my current condition. I will move toward the entrance. You stay by the fire."

Rin nodded her head and maneuvered back by the fire. She watched as Sesshomaru briskly stood up and walked passed her. But then noticed he stopped and turned to look at her.

He started to move toward her. Rin's breath caught in her throat. She realized he was losing control.

"Fight it lord Sesshomaru, you have to fight it."

"No, I cannot," he said in a voice that wasn't his own."

Before she knew it, he had shoved her into the cave wall kissing her harshly making Rin whimper involuntarily.

Even though Rin wanted to be kissed by him, she didn't want it if he wasn't himself. She knew he could kill her in the state he was in. She had to do something and fast, but what?

Sesshomaru grabbed a hand full of her hair and yanked her head back causing Rin to scream out in pain. He began to roughly kiss her neck- leaving little bite marks. Upon feeling his teeth Rin struggled making Sesshomaru angry.

"You will render yourself me, that is an order," he growled.

Rin looked up at his eyes to see they were no longer golden, but crimson.

"Please don't," she pleaded. He brought her up to eye level.

"You refuse me."

Rin couldn't think straight, his red eyes and his proximity were almost too much for her. So, she started crying. She then slowly brought her hand to rest upon Sesshomaru's cheek.

"You don't want to do this, Sesshomaru… please fight… for me" she pleaded as her eyes gazed in his inhumane ones.

Within moments of Rin speaking, a white light started to emit from her hand. Sesshomaru sensed what was happening and tried to move, but was immobile. Rin was in shock, but something told her to keep her hand on his cheek. As she did, she watched as the light seemingly was absorbed by Sesshomaru's skin. She could see his blood glowing through his now translucent cheek. She stared as the light slowly made its way down Sesshomaru's neck, then chest, and disappear under his robes- heading for his heart. Rin had no idea what was going on until she saw Sesshomaru's eyes turn back golden. She quickly snatched her hand away as if his skin burned her. Sesshomaru continued to hold Rin until his breath returned normal. He had a serious look on his face that emanated confusion and anger.

"What the hell was that Rin? What did you just do to me?"

"I don't know," she said as she tried to push passed him. He held her more firmly.

"You're lying. Now tell me," he half shouted half roared. This made Rin's hears ring

"I…I…I don't know I said. That has never happened until now."

Sesshomaru searched her eyes for more deception but found none.

Rin's face became blank and she clenched her jaw.

"Let me go lord Sesshomaru, your hurting me."

Sesshomaru looked at her a moment longer and finally released her while backing away. Allowing himself time to calm down. He watched as Rin walked passed him and sat down in front of the fire as he had instructed her earlier.

Realization finally hit him he had been about to mate with Rin, but she stopped him with her… powers. 'Could she be a priestess of some sort even if she doesn't smell like a human anymore? However, if that was true, I would have been purified, not what Rin did. I felt as is all my primal rage of lust was being absorbed by that light. I guess I should ease her fears.' Making up his mind he walked in front of Rin before speaking his thoughts aloud.

"I… I am sorry for what almost transpired."

Rin looked at him out of the corner of her eye, mildly surprised by his apology.

"There is no need milord, I am just glad you are yourself again."

Sesshomaru gave a slow nod and then walked toward the entrance of the cave settling in for the night. Rin decided it was best to settle in for the night herself. She got up and got her sleeping gear Kagome let her have and placed it a few feet from the fire. She got in and laid down flat on her back. She wondered what Sesshomaru was doing. So, she turned to look at him only to see him watching her. Rin sat up and propped herself on her elbows, eyes never leaving his before speaking.

"Thank you"

Sesshomaru crinkled his brow in confusion. He was the one to attack her, and now she was thanking him. 'Ridiculous,' he thought.

"For what!"

"For being you."

"Am I supposed to understand that?" he replied already annoyed.

"No, you are not," She then gave a small smile and lied back down.

"Good night lord Sesshomaru."

"Good night Rin."

Sesshomaru let his mind run as he turned his attention to the storm. 'I almost mated her. I could have killed her in that state. And what was that light of hers? This is far too interesting to go unnoticed. It is true that I sensed no real deception from her, nonetheless, she is still hiding something, and I am going to find out what it is.' He let his gaze fall back on Rin's now resting form.

'You thank me Rin, yet it is I who should be thanking you for being you- such an enigma you are.'

Alright guys, how do you like that for pace.. lol. Please review. I NEED MORE REVIEWS! GOTTA HAVE THEM!


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, Rin awakened to darkness and the sound of roaring thunder. She quickly turned her head to the left when she heard Sesshomaru's booming voice.

"The storm rages on. It appears we may be here for another day and night. I will restart the fire."

As Sesshomaru prepared the fire, Rin sat staring at the cave entrance. She listened to the thunder as the sound reverberated off the cave walls. She tiresomely sat up as lightening struck- illuminating the cave. She and Sesshomaru's eyes landed on each other; however, Rin was the first to look away- afraid of what he may see in her eyes, considering what happened the night before. Such events were still fresh in her mind. Plus, she had her usual dream about him. Therefore, she knew it was too early in the morning to have a deadpan façade in place. She noticed his hair was soaked, but his clothes were only mildly damp. She quickly brushed it off though.

On Sesshomaru's behalf, he let his memory of the prior night consume him as well - taking note on how beautiful Rin looked with disheveled hair. Her lips were dry but pouty, and her eyes showed emotion. He took diminutive delight in this. Rin took this opportunity to maneuver over to her traveling bag and change into her warrior suite. She was wise enough to known that just because there was a horrid storm unleashing itself and a barrier was up, didn't mean they were exempt from demon attacks. Sesshomaru saw her changing quickly in the dark. Unfortunately for her, he could see very well in the dark and with lightening illuminating the cave every few seconds, Rin's modesty was in jeopardy. Though, he only saw what her hair wasn't covering which was still a significant amount.

Once Sesshomaru started a fire, Rin was able to see, able to move around.

She really didn't know what do with herself-neither did Sesshomaru if he was honest with himself. So, he sat back by the entrance- inhaling deeply trying to make Rin's scent become diluted with the scent of rain. It was silent between the two until a recognizable sound spoke volumes to them.

"Grrrrrrrurrrrrrrrrrrrr…."

Rin covered her stomach quickly. She looked down at it willing it to be quiet. Sesshomaru wanted to smile seeing her face redden in embarrassment.

She suddenly looked up to see Sesshomaru hovering over her holding a dead rabbit. He lowered his arm so she could take it with ease. She took it with grace, smiling awkwardly.

"Thank you lord Sesshomaru," she said as it dawned on her that Sesshomaru went hunting for food in the storm, hence why he was wet.

Rin wasted no time in getting a small knife from her bag and skinning it. In no time the rabbit was cooked. She glanced over at Sesshomaru to see his eyes were closed. She didn't really want to disturb him, but considering he was the one to catch the rabbit; she wanted to offer him some even though she knew he would decline.

"Would you like some?"

"No!"

Rin nodded her head in a knowing fashion rolling her eyes, and began to eat greedily. She had not realized that she was so famished. Once done, she burped rather loudly.

"Oh, excuse me! Good gracious," she said hastily while covering her mouth as a bit more gas came out quietly.

Sesshomaru cracked open one eye to see the expected red face again, he was correct.

Rin stole a glance at him seeing a smirk planted firmly on his youthful looking face, she redden even more.

"Not a word my lord."

Sesshomaru raised one eyebrow.

"Hn" was his impassive reply.

A few hours went by and Rin's mind was racing with thoughts of her ancestry, her dreams, and what almost happened last night. She dwelled on… 'He and I almost…he could have killed me in his state. Well, he might kill me anyway once he finds out what I really am. God, how can I tell him? No, I can't. I'd rather die than tell him I am what he hates most in this wretched world… a mix breed.'

Rin's reverie was broken when she saw Sesshomaru staring at her with a worried look in his eyes. She quickly realized that he was sensing her mood. 'I can't think about this now. I've got to do something else.' So, Rin reached for her katana and started sharpening it with a rock. She looked back at Sesshomaru and noticed he had placed his attention back on the storm. She sighed inwardly and looked away. A few more hours later, Rin was bored to death. She wanted to practice with her weapons, but there was not enough room. So she had to entertain herself in other ways. She had counted all the stones in the cave, all the ants in the ant hill, and styled her hair no less than four times. She sighed in frustration. She then realized how loud she was and turned to apologize to Sesshomaru but he was not there.

During the time when Rin was styling her hair for the second time Sesshomaru was quickly losing control and his urge to take Rin was increasing by the moment. He rationalized that whatever lasting affect her powers had on him from the night before was gone with the wind. He'd hoped that he was hiding his aura well enough so Rin was not able to sense it. Apparently it was working, for Rin continued her elaborate plait. He would have taken pride in resisting Rin when she was aroused while sleeping, but knew it was her powers that held him off. He took an erudite guess on who she was dreaming about.-not to mention how his senses were constantly reminding him of how her lips and body felt pressed up against his the night before. He even recalled involuntarily placing his index finger to his lips trying to recapture the exact feeling; however, once he realized what he was doing, he snatched his hand away to ball it into a tense tight fist resting strenuously at his right side.

Sesshomaru took an uneasy inaudible breath as his eyes bored into Rin's back. His senses were telling him "here is a willing female to lie with' but his mind kept saying 'but it is Rin.' He could not live with himself if he hurt Rin in such a state as he was in now. So, he quickly left the cave without a sound to alert Rin that something was amiss.

A few more hours later, Rin had her back against the cave wall with her eyes semi-closed inhaling her lavender scented skin considering she bathed only a few minutes before. She made no movement when Sesshomaru suddenly appeared back in the cave. She saw him place what appeared to be half a deer down beside him. She assumed he ate the rest.

She saw him glance over at her. Her eyes opened, and they let their eyes linger before he turned to look outside. Rin took this opportunity to get up. She dusted off her bottom and brushed her hands of dirt indolently. She unhurriedly walked toward Sesshomaru, standing still upon reaching the front of him. She regarded the carcass before responding.

"Is that for me?"

He nodded.

"Thank you, though you know I can find food myself, you insisted upon it, remember?"

"Hmm", he mumbled, still looking outside at the seemingly unrelenting storm.

"I didn't want you to have any ailments from this weather that prevented you from being capable once we are allowed to continue this expedition."

Rin bent down by Sesshomaru nodding her head at his explanation while reaching for the half-deer.

"I suppose I don't need to ask who ate the rest."

Sesshomaru didn't move and inch. Unknowingly to Rin, the reason he caught the deer was primarily for its blood. For demons like him, deer blood was the only blood that would tam his yoki.

Rin then walked back toward the fire she had kept blazing through her boredom. She sat down and busied herself with skinning the carcass.

Once her dinner was cooked and eaten, Rin settled down. She knew the thoughts she was trying to keep deeply guarded were coming to light. She didn't want to think about them, but she couldn't hold it off any longer. 'A cho-tei, a spiritual being, whenever 'all is revealed' as Yana stated, I wonder will I find out why I can heal others and not myself. And does that light that entered into Sesshomaru-sama have anything to do with my healing abilities. But Sesshomaru-sama was not hurt, he was just… just not himself. None of this makes any sense. I hope at least some of these questions will be answered soon. Though. I cannot imagine how lord Sesshomaru will react once he knows the truth behind my origins.'

Rin looked over at Sesshomaru and noticed that he had moved from the entrance to across from her- resting on the wall with his eyes closed. Rin watched as the firelight made his skin and hair seem unreal… almost wraithlike. Sesshomaru felt eyes on him. She tried to quickly look away when he opened them, but he caught her. 'No matter' Rin thought, she knew her eyes and faced revealed nothing. As she looked at him, she wondered how he was still in control. She came on her cycle earlier that morning. 'Technically,' Rin thought 'he should be a common rabid dog in heat by now, on account of what I witnessed last night' she mused inwardly. 'Although, I wonder what would have happened if he was in control of himself last night, and for the first time he realized he wanted me.. needed me… loved me.' Rin let her last notion echo in her mind before she tore her eyes away from Sesshomaru and stared at the fire instead. Sesshomaru sensed her mood change. Even though she showed nothing, she could not hide how she was truly feeling from him. And right now he could tell she was sad, especially when she tore her eyes away from him. 'What are you thinking Rin,' he mutely asked her.

Silence loomed impeccably in the hair for a considerate amount of time while the duo sat in contemplation as the storm continued to rage on. Sesshomaru watched Rin's eyes intensely as she watched the fire. He noticed how the firelight danced in her emotionlessly auburn orbs. He was disturbed from his concentration as Rin's sighed languidly before speaking.

"Have you ever heard the story of firelight, Sesshomaru-sama?"

His eyes never leaving her emotionally void ones, he simply replied "No" quietly.

"Hmm," she smiled minutely, though it did not reach her eyes.

"It's an archaic story. It is said that the firelight is magic, when time stands still."

Noticing how Rin fell silent, he encouraged her to continue.

"Go on."

"It is believed that in the firelight, you can do what you want, say what you want, and be what you want. But when daylight breaks, time starts again. What you've done, said, and were…are forgotten… more than forgotten… it never happened, and all is as it was."

"I see, interesting fairy-tale, and what do you believe Rin?"

Rin's eyes slowly met Sesshomaru's gaze. She noticed that his eyes reflected something unknown to her.

She was silent for a few moments, before getting up from her log she flatly stated looking Sesshomaru in the eyes.

"I believe nothing, it is merely a story… a fairy-tale as you called it. Goodnight lord Sesshomaru."

She turned and went to lay by her traveling gear soon falling asleep to the crackling sounds of the fire.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: I just wanted to thank you all for the reviews. I know this story seems slow and way out in left field, but, I've made it slow because of how both characters are. Both are stubborn and strong willed. Therefore, I have to take the time and develop the characters as best as I can while staying true to their actual mannerisms. ( I had to guess on an adult Rin's of course, but in the series, she is obedient but could be stubborn at times as well). Plus, I didn't want the entire story to be filled with action packed scenes because I mainly wanted to focus on inner thoughts and turmoil. I suppose you can say those are the themes. So, lots of stream of consciousness, angst, and an appeal to emotion. Anyhow, sorry to those of you who think it is slow and pointless. But just remember alexjademaru09 does things with meaning and purpose. Now, you can take that to the grave.

Ok, on with the story!

…..

"We will rest here for the night. Tomorrow we will stop at a nearby village."

"Is there something we need there for this journey?"

"Not exactly," he stated coolly as he gave Rin a look that said 'do not ask any more questions upon the matter.' Rin took the hint and settled in under a mighty oak tree.

The duo had been traveling now for almost a week and a half. The two shared small conversation mostly initiated by Sesshomaru which translated into being once every seven hours. Rin usually would initiate, but considering last week's events, even she thought things would go more smoothly between the two of them if she just didn't talk unless he spoke first. Her being laconic did not go unnoticed by Sesshomaru. Yes, it was true that Rin wasn't as perky and bubbly as she used to be, but she still liked to hold meaningful conversations.

But now, she was as silent as his father's grave. He knew something was wrong, but in view of last week's activities there could be a myriad of reasons why Rin was terse. He wondered could it possible be that she had figured out he was going to leave her at the village they would be approaching before sundown tomorrow. Then he dismissed the idea. He rumintaed that Rin was one of a kind in body, mind, and spirit, but he also dwelled on the notion that she thought she was going to accompany him on the entire trek. He knew seeing her face would be heart-wrenching, but it must be done he concluded.

He watched Rin walk toward the hot spring that was in the vicinity. A part of him almost wanted to follow her, but he didn't know why. Would it be to possibly finally confront her on what she said in her room, or perhaps, her powers, or even her new found impassive attitude toward him? Though he knew the reason for the last one seeing as it directly related to what happened in her room, but he still wanted to confirm his suspicions. Growing aggravated by his notions, he quickly shrugged it off.

Once arriving in the village the following evening, Sesshomaru walked regally passed the villagers as they watched wearily. He stopped in front of a vacant hut.

"This is where you will take up lodgings. I have made provisions for your stay."

Rin walked up beside Sesshomaru looking uninterested at the hut. She turned to look at Sesshomaru for further instructions.

"I will return tomorrow morning."

Rin gave a curt nod as she watched a departing Sesshomaru walk into the forest in which they came before she began to wonder.

'I thought we needed something in this village, why on earth would we really need to stop here. Perhaps it is so I can get a decent meal before he and I confront this "disturbance" that he speaks of in the far east.'

On that end note, Rin decided to make the best of her lodgings. It wasn't much considering all the villagers appeared to be on a fixed income. Nonetheless, Sesshomaru's provisions were more than adequate. There was a mat, covers, candles, pots, pans for cooking, and other basic necessities one would need to stay a lengthy amount of time. That last thought lingered in Rin's head for a moment before she became oblivious to it.

Several hours later, Rin was asleep when she heard rustling in the corner of the hut. She sat up quickly while doing a flip and grabbing her katana- holding it toward the intruder's throat. Considering it was still pitch black, the only thing Rin could see were golden eyes staring at her. Realization hit her, and she dropped the sword kneeling in apology as her hair fanned out around her to rest gently on the floor.

"I'm sorry lord Sesshomaru. I did not know it was you."

"You may rise Rin."

Rin rose gingerly as Sesshomaru stepped into the dim moonlight that was slightly illuminating a nearby wall.

Rin gradually looked up to meet his gaze and was met with the oddest expression she seen on his face to date. If she didn't know better she would say he looked sad.

"Is there something wrong my lord?"

She was answered with silence as he continued to stare at her.

Rin's mind was racing. She wondered, as her mind went back to what happened in the cave when they realized she was in heat. No, she thought. Her cycle was over four days ago. That definitely wasn't it. Besides, his aura is strange Rin concluded as she looked at him curiously.

He finally spoke.

"I will be leaving shortly."

Oh, alright…" she paused looking over and down at her belongings near her mat behind her.

"Well, I'll need a moment to gather my belongings."

"No… you are to stay here."

"Excuse me my lord; I don't think I heard you correctly."

"You heard me," he said flatly.

Rin eyes widen at this new information. 'He's trying to abandon me. I should have known. Yes, every since he found out my feelings he's probably been looking for a way to get rid of me or does he know I'm a hybrid? How could I have been so blind? But I'll die without him.'

"I will come for you when the battle is over."

Rin's mind relaxed at this. 'So he intends to come back for me. That's good, but why invite me to fight by his side only to leave me along the way? Though, he could be lying about coming back for me, but I have never really known him to lie?' Rin let her mind fall back to her training. 'No, I've trained hard and earned the right to be by his side, he can't do this.'

Rin started to shake her head sideways. 'I must know why' she deduced.

"You just can't leave me here," Rin half- shouted.

"I can and I will," he said as he turned his back to her.

Rin was beside herself as she felt anger rising within her, she was hardly thinking straight. Her russet eyes bored into Sesshomaru's back.

"Why then? Why bring me all this way only to leave me in this village?"

"I said I wanted you to accompany me. I never said you would be battling with me.

"So, you had this planned from the get go, I should have known. I' ve always been told _some_ demons can't be trusted ," she said while penetrating his back with her eyes.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes inhaling deeply. He knew she was irate by the news, but he figured it was better this way.

' Better for her to hate me now, than dying in battle. I can't lose her.'

Rin looked away from him when she felt her fist trembling.

"Can you at least look at me while you're dismissing me?"

Sesshomaru opened his eyes slowly and turned around to look at his young ward. He saw her eyes held fury and tears threaten to spill from them. Rin looked downward and to the side as he turned to look at her.

"I can fend for myself. Why are you treating me like a child?"

"You are a child."

Rin quickly glared daggers at Sesshomaru before responding.

"You… know… damn… well, I'm not a child." she said through gritted teeth.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her word choice and tone of voice.

"It would be in your best interest to hold your tongue."

"Wouldn't it? Humph, a child, you say. I've seen the way you've been looking at me- a peculiar way to look at a _child," _she said the last bit tauntingly raising one of her eye brows.

Sesshomaru's yoki hastily spiked giving a warning growl. Rin, still angered herself, began to see a scarlet outline forming on his body and his hair beginning to slightly levitate. But Rin didn't care, she had enough rage of her own , hence why she added her last bit of insolence. She held her head high to converse what she knew was a blow.

"Bearing in mind what happened in the cave… I'd presume you…

"SILENCE," Sesshomaru roared making the hut shake and Rin jump where she stood, now wide-eyed. She'd never heard that voice before, definitely not of this world.

"You… you impudent waif- be thankful that I hold you in some regard girl." he managed to harshly say through his lividness while he barred his fangs at her.

Rin looked down as her eyes narrowed after hearing him call her an orphan. She hated that label, but knew that was what she truly was… the unwanted… the cast away. She was nothing. Nonetheless, Rin's anger returned as she rolled her tear- filled eyes at his statement looking back at Sesshomaru.

"Spare me," Rin knew she was pushing it, but her fortitude and sadness were getting the better of her.

He started to move toward her but caught himself. He knew he didn't want to end things like this considering he might be going into his last battle.

"Rin," he said heatedly "you will stay here as you were told. That is final," he commanded while his left hand rose slowly as he struggled to ball his now trembling hand into a fist to gain some control. Rin starred at him for a long time. She knew he was trying to control his anger, but ultimately, she knew he would not change his mind, and that she was the one who would have to stand down. Once realizing this and calming herself, she let her eyes shift to linger just beyond Sesshomaru's shoulder.

"As you wish, my lord," she replied, with no emotion, no contempt, and with eyes that once held hatred and sadness, now held nothing. Sesshomaru could feel the emotion thick in the air that Rin was trying to keep at bay. He once again noted that he taught her well as he held his chin high with indignation. And with a few more moments regarding her, he turned and left.

Rin stood in the same spot in the dark until he was long gone before speaking her thoughts aloud.

"I will not be dismissed so easily Sesshomaru, I've invested too much time and energy on you to become complacent with your ill-conceived orders. I _will_ be by your side whether you want me there or not, now _that_ is final."


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: Ok, Ok, I know it's been like a year, but yea, I'm back. I am determined to make sure I finished this story. So, please forgive me. Plus, to add insult to injury, this is a rather short chapter. But at least it's an update. Right… right…. On with the story!

Chapter 9

On Sesshomaru's behalf, the thought of never seeing Rin again was torturing him. He'd dwelled on her so much during the night, he had become very restless. Therefore, he didn't wait for the sun to come up before he went to the hut and settled in the corner. He noted her sleeping form on the mat. He didn't know why he had an urge to be near her, to smell her.

He supposed that it was just his way of dealing with possibly of never seeing her again. He starred at her chest as he watched her breath in and out. He wanted life to remain in her for as long as time permitted. He didn't know if he wanted to say goodbye to her and thought it may be better to just leave without a word.

'She'd hate me. She would think I abandoned her. Why is this female so important to me? I should have left her to her own devices years ago, yet here she is still under my protection and ever present watch. I have become something I'd despise for many centuries. I will not admit weakness if this is what has become of me, but I will admit I have been hindered, hindered by this human laying before me. Perhaps if she wasn't so beautiful, I'd be able to cast her away. Humph who am I kidding, she could be as old as that priestess with the one eye and I would still be here. All my life I've never come across a creature as fascinating as her. She, who has solely done things, made me feel things that no other could or would ever do. How is this possible? The mere concept of a being existing like her eludes me. She no longer smells like a human. Not even a demon. What is she? Who is she? But even questioning her origins, I would still be here watching, dwelling, feeling for this creature, this female.

However, I can't bring myself to be like father. Father's sins died with him. They will not repeat themselves in me. Coming to a resolve, 'I have to go. It is better this way. Human or not, her love for me will die in vain for I am incapable of love. What is love anyway, but a useless human emotions that leads to the unwanted and undesired.'

Sesshomaru stood up while watching Rin remorsefully, but not without making some noise. Rin shot up like a light, as she held her sword to Sesshomaru's throat. Sesshomaru almost smiled at her reflexes. 'Good girl' he thought.

As their heated conversation progressed, he noted … when she found out she was going to be left behind… her anger was understandable to him. He gathered she would be. When she showed fortitude by asking him why, he was in awe of her. But when she called him out on his lingering gazes, he was enraged.

Though the notion that she backed down from him was enough to vaguely calm him; nonetheless, when she backed down and seemingly came to her senses, he was back to his usual aloof, detached self. He let a single question linger in his mind as he turned to leave her early that morning, 'Will I ever see her face again?


End file.
